Friday, August 7, 2009

Confession...

**Disclaimer: this is really personal for me. I've been struggling with this for a few months, now. The whole point of this blog is to talk about my life, and this is a huge part of my life. So, here goes...

I found God's salvation when I was 12 years old. God's grace saved me, and I became a follower of Christ. Over the years, I've tried to live my life in a Godly fashion to be pleasing to Him.

Now, let's talk about my personal relationship with Jesus, because that's really what it's all about. You know about the footprints poem, right? If not, go read it - it's a good one. Anyways...I have another analogy, one that is how I see myself, that is similar. You see, I feel that Jesus is always walking in a straight path, a path that I know very well. When I'm at my best, my path is right beside his or identical to his. When I'm at my worst, my path has veered off, and is nowhere near Jesus' path. {P.S. It sounds better in my head, before I tried to put this to paper.}

Where am I right now? I think maybe I'm in the middle. I'm not walking with Jesus the way that I know I need, but nor am I doing anything to make my path allign with Jesus'. Does that make any sense? The worst part of it all is that I know that I need to make some changes, and I want to be closer in my relationship with God, but I'm not doing anything to fix this. And I don't want y'all to think that I'm doing anything really awful, but I'm still sinning, and a sin is a sin - no excuses.

So, my reason for this post? It will be accountability for me, because I've written it, and I know people (at least a few!) have read it. I will make my life better because I will make right my personal relationship with God.

And I'll leave you with some words from Max Lucado, because I read them, and they just spoke to me. It's from his new book Fearless that comes out sometime this year.

"When you place your faith in Christ, Christ places his Spirit before, behind, and within you. Not a strange spirit, but the same Spirit: the parakletos. Everything Jesus did for his followers, his Spirit does for you. Jesus taught; the Spirit teaches. Jesus healed; the Spirit heals. Jesus comforted; his Spirit comforts. As Jesus sends you into new seasons, he sends his counselor to go with you."
"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23:6

3 comments:

Katie said...

I think that was really brave of you to write. I can really understand where you're at...totally. I feel like I've gone more 'off' then I should be...and like you said, its not really anything bad, but sin is sin. There are things I need to do to make my relationship with Christ right--and I appreciate your blog today because it opened my eyes again.

(cute blog by the way...)

xo
k

Danielle said...

Great post!

Whitney said...

I don't know how I missed this post, but I just want to let you know that I am praying for you! It takes a lot of courage to be this personal on your blog and I have so much respect for you for that!
I felt convicted as I was reading this post for some things in my own life and I thank you for writing it!
Let's hold each other accountable!