Makes Me Smile Monday

For Ava’s 4th birthday, we celebrated at the lake.  Ava was a water bug, and got out of the water only to eat lunch, eat birthday cake, and open presents.  I did, however get a good picture of Marc and me. :)

Love this guy to pieces! :)

Makes Me Smile…Thursday?

Okay, so it’s not Monday, and I haven’t done a Makes Me Smile Monday post in awhile, but I took this picture of Paisley on our new hammock (Christmas gift from my grandma), and I love it.  My girl loves to be right where you are…such a people lover! :)

Encouraging…

Okay, I know you have these days.  When you at work, and the people there are just driving you crazy.  You want nothing more than to be sarcastic and witchy with them, but you put on your nice face, suck it up, and help them.

That’s what I feel like I’ve been doing almost all day.  And it’s not a problem.  I like helping them.  But some days?  I want to ask if they remember when I told them how to do the same task a week ago, a month ago, when they affiliated with us.  You know…you’ve told them who knows how many times, but they still need your help?  So frustrating on some days.

But then I get an email that says:

“You ROCK Brittany! THANK YOU so much.

I have to tell you…I have been in many offices.  You truly are incredible.  We think the world of you!”

And that makes it worth it.  I’ll lose most some of my irritation, and my smile will be more genuine. :)

Hope you are having a fabulous day! :)

Makes Me Smile Monday

Today, I’m smiling because I celebrated 6 years of marriage yesterday.  Ideally, I would upload a photo from our wedding day, but they’re on my external hard drive, and I’m feeling lazy tonight.  So, instead, you can go here to see what I wrote on our 4th anniversary, or here for our 3rd anniversary.

So, here’s to 6 wonderful, blessed years of marriage, and here’s to many, many more!

Makes Me Smile Monday

What’s making me smile today?  Oh, just the fact that I’ll be on vacation starting Wednesday with Marc AND the pups!  Looking forward to a few days in Beaufort with my favorites. :)  Ready for sunsets and sunrises and time with Marc celebrating our 6th anniversary! :)

Makes Me Smile Monday

This is a recent photo, but it really does make me smile.  Mainly, because Marc makes me smile.  We laugh.  A lot.  I love that about our relationship, about our marriage.  So, here’s to us, and our life, and our love. :)

Makes Me Smile Monday

Here’s my 2nd edition of Makes Me Smile Monday.  I was going through some of my old photos, and came across this gem: And it literally just makes me smile.  It reminds me of good times with great friends. (And in case you were wondering why we were dressed up, it was for a 50th birthday party for a friend’s mom.  It was my favorite costume party ever!).

Because of this party, we’ve started planning for a big 30th birthday party for a couple of us who have the milestone coming up next year. :) Cannot.Wait! :)  It’s gonna be awesome!! :)

Makes Me Smile Monday

Don’t you just love pictures that you can look at, and they just make you smile?  I do…makes my heart feel good.  So, I’m going to try to do this every week, on Mondays.

Here is today’s photo:

This is my boy, Ace.  He is such a sweet boy.  He loves to cuddle and snuggle.  And he loves to play.  He and Paisley are best friends, and I just love that. :)

Hope y’all had a happy Monday!! :)

It’s gonna be a great year

This year is already off to a great start, and I am so excited to see how it plays out!

This is new years…and this photo series just makes me laugh.  Honestly, we don’t have a great photo from new years, but this is us, so I’m happy with them. :)

Thanks to the photographer…I think it was Johnny. :) I missed Katie M being there to take some great photos of the night.  I didn’t get nearly enough. :)

After these photos came the fireworks – I love fireworks, but only for a few minutes.  30 minutes of fireworks is just boring to me.  Do you agree?

I love New Year’s in Morehead City.  And I love my friends. My life is good. :)

I also made the 2nd biggest purchase of my life (our house is the 1st), and bought a car.  Isn’t it pretty?!?  I’m in love!! :)

Want to know what the best part of January was?  My best friend is now a Mama!! :) Baby Cole is gorgeous, and healthy.  And Katie and Chad are learning what it’s like to live without sleep! :) And how handsome does my husband look with a baby? He’s going to be a great Daddy one day.

February has started off pretty awesome, too.  On Thursday, February 2nd, I went had did this…

And this is the only photo I have, because Marc is the only one who went with me.  For good reason, too.  It took about 2 minutes from start to finish to get my new tattoo. :) And I LOVE it!!

It’s super simple, but it’s my Jesus fish.  And it’s my reminder to Walk by Faith (Jeremy Camp song, which I love), on my left foot, closer to my heart.  However, is it bad that I don’t want my parents to know?  I mean, I’m a 28 year old adult, but I know my dad with be really upset, and my mom would be disappointed.  I know it’ll come out eventually, but…for now, it’s my secret, shared with y’all. :)

February is busy…I’m heading to Orlando for work next Thursday for a week.  Looking forward to hanging out with some of my Charlotte friends, but I’m gonna miss home.  It’s bittersweet.

So, how’s 2012 looking for you?  Are you loving it like me?  Have a great weekend, y’all! :)

With a Thankful Heart

I suppose I’ll end my unplanned hiatus…I miss blogging.  I miss writing down my life – documenting our life.  And I find myself saying, “I should blog this.” Yet, I don’t.  I’m going to be honest and call it lazy.  Because I have been. :)

So, with Thanksgiving tomorrow, here’s what I’m thankful for, but “deep” and superficial. :)

• Marc – he makes life fun.  I’m blessed to be married to him. :)
• Family – which covers a LOT.  My Mama and Daddy are awesome – again, blessed with them.  They have their flaws (don’t we all), but they have loved me unconditionally all my life, and taught me that I could be and do anything I wanted to.  Then, they helped me do just that, sacrificing their wants and needs so my brother and I wouldn’t have to do without.
• Family Portraits. :) A friend at church took these for us, and we’re using them as Christmas gifts.  Who says you have to have kids to give pictures of yourself to family?!?  That’s blasphemy. :)
  I mean, who wouldn’t want a photo of us with our dogs?!? :) That’s our family. :) And then for my family, we got this one for the grandparents, our parents, aunts & uncles. :) My brother has a beautiful family!! :) Love those girls (and him and Wendy)!! :)

 

• I’m thankful for my favorite TV shows.  This fall, I’m loving: Hawaii 5-0, NCIS & NCIS:LA, and 2 Broke Girls makes me laugh.  Not a huge fan of Glee this fall – just not really loving the songs.
• My dogs – they make me happy.  They need a bath right now, but I love giving them belly rubs before bed.
• These two ladies – best friends for a long time. :)
• Friends that can get together for a baby shower, but have a blast just catching up. 
• My friends – all of them – they get me through the rough weeks, and good times.  They are there for everything and I’m so, so glad to have an abundance of good friends in my life.
• Events that I’ve been to this year – MotoCross Race in California, Carolina Panthers game in August, and one of my favorites – Def Leppard concert for my birthday with the help of Groupon and friends. :) A little rain didn’t stop us from singing Pour Some Sugar on me at the top of our lungs…it represented our undying love for trashy rock music! :)
• I’m thankful for a job, for a raise in January, and that God provides when we need Him most.
• Love my church and my church family.  Love that my education allows me to contribute to our church and God’s plan.
• I am thankful to God, for everything.  My life, while I’m sometimes disappointed that the direction it takes is not the one I had planned, it’s the life God has planned.  Thankful for that above all else. :)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!! :)

God’s Faithfulness

I love how God works.  You know…sometimes He works behind the scenes.  Giving you a nudge or suggestion.  Other times, He’s a bit more direct – with a sermon.  Or an email. :)

I got this in my email today, and the prayer just soothes my heart.  God knows what I need to hear.  He knows that I need strength, because mine is weakening.

I love how God works. :)

From Max Lucado’s email: Loved By A Faithful God

Father, earthly stress and struggles remind us of your faithfulness. Help us, Lord, to serve you without grumbling. May we, like the apostle Paul, choose to plant a garden in the bricks of our “prison.” Help plant our thoughts firmly on your faithfulness. All hope comes from you, amen.

God answers

I was in the car on Saturday, flipping through radio stations, and I landed on K-LOVE.  And I’ll be honest – I don’t know the song or the artist, but she was describing how she came to write this song.  I think it might have been called Blessings?  I’m not sure.

Anyways.  It’s based on a verse from James:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds…” – James 1:2

Now, right now, I’m going to work on the joy part of this journey.  It’s gonna be difficult.  Really difficult.  But I’m going to work on it. :)

A depressing post…

…just mark as read if you’re not in the mood for anything “heavy.”  It’s kind of deep, very honest, and not a light post.


My 28th birthday.  I was hoping for the most amazing present.  I was hoping that I would be pregnant.
And not just because it’s my birthday.  I know better than that.  This month, though, we tried a different approach.  I took different medicine, had an ultrasound to verify a follicle, a shot to force ovulation.


So, not only was I hopeful – I was expectant.  Because things looked so much more promising this time around.


And I should have known better.  Let’s be blunt – we’ve been trying to get me pregnant for over 2 years.  I should just know better.


But if I’ve learned anything from this experience (and I’ve learned a lot), it’s that my plan and expectations mean nothing.


So, less than a week before my birthday, instead of a positive pregnancy test, I get my period.  Happy Birthday to me.


Wednesday I started spotting.  And on Wednesday, one of my best friends also told me that she was pregnant.  Holy emotional overload.


This post – it’s just honest.  It’s how I feel.


I’m extremely happy for my friend.  I love her, and I can’t wait to meet their little baby.  But that doesn’t make it easy for me.


Now?  I’m angry.  I’m disappointed.  I’m sad.  I feel guilty.  I’m jealous.  I’m tired of crying.  I’m tired of not being able to control my tears.  I’m questioning God and His timing.  I’m not questioning His existence – just His reasoning, His timing.  I’m tired of the “It’ll happen” remarks.  I’m tired of the pity.  I’m tired of “waiting for it to happen”.  I’m tired of the headaches and roller coaster emotions caused by my medicines.  I’m just tired.


And Marc.  Bless him…he’s been so good through all this.  I mean, he has an over-emotional wife who can’t stop crying.  And there’s nothing anyone can say, even Marc, that makes it better.  He – the way he’s been with all of this – I love him even more than I thought I could.


So I go through this cycle emotionally.  Resolve to go through the process yet again.  Hope, even though I tell myself to keep in check – not to get my hopes up, not to expect anything.  Disbelief – maybe it’s implantation bleeding, not spotting.  Disappointment and anger (at myself, because I know better than to hope too much) because I’ve started my period.  Again.  Sadness and tears.


Is there a point where we take a break?  Because everyone says “It’ll happen when you least expect it.”  Well, that time has come and gone, again and again.  Because every month, I start out being realistic, and the hope, faith, and optimism just build, and I’m overwhelmed by the let down.


And it’s not just me that I let down, but so many others.  I know that there are so many people who go through this with us.  There are so many people who love us who want this for us, too.  And they’re heartbroken every month, too.  And not just because of that, but because they see our pain, and they hurt with and for us.


I feel as though I’m a failure, as though my body is a failure.  I question my body.  I question what I’ve done, or not done, so that God won’t give me a baby.  I know that’s not how it works.  I KNOW that.  But in the midst of my tears, I get angry at God.  I question Him.  I want to know what His timing is.  What I’ve done wrong in my life.  What do I need to still do?  Like I said – I KNOW that’s not how it goes, but that’s just how I FEEL.


So, what does it all mean?  Where do I stand, now?  Same place as every month.  Ready to try, again, for another month.  Bitter is probably the best feeling to describe how I feel right now, though.  I’ll be better in a week – better when I can think things through more logically, less emotionally.


If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading.  I’m sorry for being Debbie Downer.  I’ve been debating whether to write this or not…but it’s been good for me to write things down.  I would love your prayers, though. :) Can I ask for prayers?  And not just that God would give me the desires of my heart, but that I will be strengthened.  Strengthened in spirit, in body.  Emotionally.  Thank you, loves. :) I appreciate you. :)

May 2011

The month in review. :)

So proud of my best friend!! Tiffany graduated from UNC with her Masters!! :)  I’m so excited for her.

After the graduation ceremony, her husband threw her a great dinner.  This is after dinner, and I love them. :) They love each other SO.MUCH. And I love seeing them together.  They make me happy. :)

The kids in TinyTown at church sand some songs for us one Sunday morning.  Ava, my youngest niece, is the on on the right in the blue dress with a bow in her hair.  She was so funny, as always.  Love seeing kids sing to God! :)

We did landscaping around the front of the house.  This is the picture the day we did the planting.  Since then, we’ve added a dogwood tree to the right front, just beside the sidewalk, and spread more mulch to the left.  It only took us 3 years to add some “curb” appeal. :)

For my brother’s birthday, he decided that he wanted to race 4-wheelers, again.  Two weeks later, he raced again.  We went to see him, and rode with his wife and kids.  Ava passed out on the way.

This is Brock with some of the other guys who raced that night looking over the track.  Brock’s on the 4-wheeler.

And this is Brock during the practice.  I love watching him race.  He’s such a natural, and so good!  He won first place that night!! :)

We spent Memorial Day at the beach with friends.  It’s always a great, relaxing time.  The guys went fishing on Saturday, and came back with a lot of dolphin (mahi).  This is the biggest one they caught, >30 lbs.  It was GREAT fried up Sunday on the beach!! :)

And this is one with all of their fish.

The girls with the fish, and the big fisherman of the day! :)

Everyone game Marc a hard time because his shirt looks like the dolphin.  If you count him, he’s the biggest catch of the day! :)

Sunday of Memorial Weekend:

Sand bar at low tide…the guys pushed us off

Wild horses on Carrot Island.  Seriously, one of the most beautiful sights there is…

And that’s pretty much it for May.  Great month.

Now, I’m looking forward to the rest of June. :) Two of my nieces have birthdays, helping to host a baby shower for one of our life group couples, DEF LEPPARD concert (I.cannot.WAIT!!) with all the friends, my 28th birthday, which then leads to July and another weekend at the beach. :)

Hope you’re having a great month! :)

The hard stuff…

I always have this internal debate about how personal, how “real”, to get on this blog.

And I often think that it would be easier if I were completely anonymous.  Or if all of you were anonymous, so that I didn’t know exactly (using the term loosely) who views this blog.

In all honesty, it’s harder to write, harder to be me, knowing that people I know in real life read what I write.

Because it’s hard to be happy all the time.  Especially when that’s not reality.

So.  What’s real?

- I was miserable in my job for the past two years.  I’m finally happy with my job (same job, different leadership/staff).  We are in a different office, with different leadership, different everything, really.  And I love it.  Not to say I don’t miss some of the former – I miss my former receptionist = she’s a really nice lady, and she knew exactly what to do. I miss my old commute time = I’m driving about 45 minutes each way, now.  Gives me time to think and unwind after work, though. :)

- For the past 26 months, I’ve been unable to get pregnant.  And it’s not for lack of trying! ;) So, by definition, I’m dealing with infertility.  Is it a coincidence that I’ve been unhappy at work for about the same amount of time?  No.  I don’t really believe in coincidences.  I do believe that God knows best.  And He knew that mentally, and emotionally, I wouldn’t have been able to be the best mom.  With that being said, I’m happy, now, God!  I’m ready (or as ready as I can get?)!! :) (There have been many doctors visits, many tests, my body works, my husband’s body works…just no kid.  Yet.)

- When I was miserable at work, I had TONS of extra time to goof off online and write blogs.  Currently, I’m slammed with work, and thus, have no time to blog at work.  Shame.  And by the time I get home, after working on a computer for 8+ hours, sue me for not wanting to get on the laptop there to blog.  I’ve got to work something out, though.  I miss my writing out my thoughts. :)

- My 10 year high school reunion is this year.  I’ll be one of “those people” at the homecoming football game.  One of “those people” that, at the time, I thought was so old.  And this event, stupid as it may be, has me looking at my life and evaluating what I’ve DONE with my life over the past 10 years.  Besides graduating from college and getting married…can’t say that there’s much else I’ve DONE.  Kind of depressing.  And this goes back to the fact that I can’t get pregnant.  Now THAT would be an accomplishment!! :)

- My trust in God is constantly tested.  Do I trust that God will give me a baby?  Do I trust that He is faithful to me and my desires?  Do I simply trust God?  Yes.  I do.  Is it always easy and happy doing so?  Absolutely not.  I have to consistently remind myself that there’s a plan.  And it’s not MY plan.  If it were MY plan, I would have gotten pregnant 2 years ago, and I’d have a little rugrat running around. :)  God’s plan is different from mine, obviously, but His plan is perfect. :) Sometimes, though, my heart hurts too much to listen to reason, and I throw myself a pity party.  I’m forever on this emotional roller coaster that NEVER.ENDS.  Thank you, hormone drugs.  I’m forever grateful.

I have to laugh and make jokes about our situation.  I mean, how else do you work through it?  And I am in NO WAY saying that our infertility path is worse than yours is or might be.  Either way, it just sucks.  Some women may NEVER get pregnant.  And that thought saddens me.  I’m often angry…so, so angry…when I hear that some girl, woman, whatever is pregnant.  And I get judgmental, thinking that the family and home and LOVE that I can and will provide one day is better than someone else’s.  I’m absolutely EATEN UP with jealousy.  And I hate it.  And I have to check myself.  But that’s how I feel.  That’s honest.

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With that, I hope I haven’t scared you off. :) And if I do know you in real life, can we keep this between just you and me?  I know that this isn’t a private blog, but I’d love to think that I can trust you. :) Pretty please?

And if you struggle with infertility, and need to vent about the “injustices” of it all, I’m here.  I am in NO WAY an expert.  But I have some experience.  And I can share with you.  And I’m being told, though many sermons and bible verses that just keep.showing.up that this may be part of my personal ministry.  My way of showing God’s love for all of his children – young and old. :)

Have a great day, everyone! :)

And because I HAVE to have a photo – and I need something happy to go with this heavy post.  So, in anticipation of Memorial Day, here you go.  Can’t wait for some beach time with our friends…much needed break! :)

Fill in the Blank Friday

Yes, I’ve been MIA.  Yes, I’m fine.  And yes, I will fill you in, hopefully this weekend, on my life for the past few months. :)

If you’re still around, thanks for the faith, and enjoy my Fill in the Blank Friday from Lauren’s blog:

1. I am looking forward to summer and all that implies!  I’m ready for weekends at the lake, weekends at the beach, softball games, summer cookouts, my nieces’ birthdays, MY birthday, and everything else God has planned for my life this summer!!:)

2. Something kind of embarrassing that I still love anyway is ABC Family movies and original TV shows.  Yep – I’m that kind of girl.  I also love the Disney Channel and their movies.  I’m a Jo Bros fan – I can admit that!! Haha!  Seriously, though – I love ABC Family shows.

3. My favorite car is that I’ve owned?  My current Explorer. Granted, it’s my third Explorer, but it’s the only 4-door one.  However, if I could have ANY car, I really like the GMC Acadia.  It think it’s pretty, and semi-small, for a SUV.  And it has an option for 3rd row seating, which comes in handy with our friends!! :)

4. If you could pick one type of weather to live with for the rest of your life, it would be Spring in the South weather.  When the temperatures are around the mid-70s, there’s usually a light breeze.  Cool at night, but warm during the day.  It’s before the humidity gets ridiculous.  Sadly, in NC, it seems to only last for a week before summer moves in.

5. My favorite thing to do after a bad/stressful day is change IMMEDIATELY into comfy clothes – pj pants or sweats and a t-shirt – love on my dogs for a little bit and then veg out on the couch watching some of my shows that are on the DVR.  Hang out with Marc, maybe drink a beer, and just enjoy and be thankful for my home, my family, my dogs.  Try to remind myself that it’s not really that bad.

6. This weekend I will be celebrating my niece Allie’s 6th birthday, again!  She’s having her party with all of her friends, so we’ll hang out there for awhile, then head to our friends’ house to celebrate his birthday, play horseshoes and corn hole.  And I will sew an apron for my best friend.

7. If I were a color, I’d be  blue  because it’s my favorite color and it makes me happy.  Blue, to me, at least, is calming and steady.  It reminds me of the ocean, which makes me smile. :)

If you’d like to join in, just grab the photo and the questions, and head over the Lauren’s blog to let her know you’ve joined in today!! :)

Happy Friday, y’all!! :)

Life Gets Busy

Do you ever feel like that?  Feel like you’re too busy to just sit back and take a deep breath to enjoy life?  I’ve kind of been feeling that way for the past few months.  In a way, I’m glad to be busy.  And in a way, it makes me sad.  It makes me feel like life is passing too quickly.

So what’s been going on in my life for the past few months?  Not much of anything that’s life changing, but a few things that are going to make my life a little more enjoyable. :)

Towards the end of 2010, I had grown to pretty much hate my job.  I disliked my boss and the way she treated me…it was frustrating, and there wasn’t anything that I could really do about it.  I didn’t have any other job prospects, so I just had to stick it out.  But I was really unhappy.

In the past month, that’s all changed. I have a new boss coming in next week.  As in April 4th, and I couldn’t be more excited.  Our office is moving, which is a bit of an annoyance, because it will mean a longer commute, but the move means a better chance of a profit for the business, so I’m ready to see how all of the changes are going to change my work environment. :)

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On a really happy note, Marc & I celebrated 5 years of marriage on Friday, March 25th! :) Happy Anniversary to us!! :)

We spent the weekend before in the mountains of North Carolina, and had a great time relaxing and sightseeing with our friends, Chad and Katie. :) These are just some snapshots of our weekend near Boone.  The weather was perfect, and it was such a nice mini-vacation! :) I’m so glad we took the time to get away.

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Last week, I went to my first Carolina Hurricanes hockey game.  It was so much fun! :) I look forward to going back soon!! Cutest thing – during the first break between periods, they let the little hockey players come out…so cute! :)

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And yesterday, we celebrated the birthday of a couple’s little boy, Lukas.  And I’m really selfish, but my favorite part of this was getting to spend time with my nephew, Brayden! :) He’s so cute and chunky!!  And I absolutely love how Marc is with all of our nieces and nephew.  He’s so good with kids! :) Isn’t this picture just precious?? He’s going to make a great dad…I can’t wait for that time in our lives! :)

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Other things I’ve done in the past two months?  I’ve been to Anaheim, California for a convention for work.  While there, I was lucky enough to visit San Diego for a Supercross race (dirt bike motorcycles), Disneyland, which was so much fun, lots of time with friends, lots of time at work.  Nothing out of this world exciting, but just life as I know it. :)

I hope each of you have been doing well! :) I’ve missed you all!! :)